Death doesn't mean an end to Loneliness
by Cal Sathe
Summary: [Sasuke x Naruto Slash Yaoi MM] Loneliness can only be healed by other's that know the feeling.
1. Chapter 1

Itatchi was dead, and no justu in the world could bring him back. Everyone watched as Sasuke made the finishing blow, proving years of betrayal, pain, and training had been for some good. Cheers erupted as the elder Uchiha fell to the ground lifeless, his Sharingan eyes fading away to nothingness. Cries of joy and happiness filled the skies as all those that witnessed the final strike rushed to the winning man.

Itatchi was dead… but Sasuke had never felt more alone.

The party had been legendary; all of Konoha had erupted into a frenzy as the lost Uchiha returned to them baring his brother's eyes. A beautiful cloudless sky watched as celebratory events took place. The shinobi of the Leaf Village danced and drank and sang and cheered well into the night.

But now… everything was quiet, people grew too exhausted to dance, became to inebriated to drink, and had sung and cheered their voices horse. Now, just as the sun was beginning to rise, only two people remained awake. One that didn't feel the fulfillment that the rest of Konoha was celebrating and one that was alone in understanding how the first felt.

Sasuke and Naruto sat on either side of a black futon in the Uchiha residence, an empting bottle of Sake being passed between them. A comfortable silence had come between the two for a while now, each lost in their own thoughts.

However, the silence had gone on far too long, where Naruto's concerned, and it was never good for the raven to be lost in his head for too long.

"So…" spoke the blond, finally breaking the dead silence, "What are you going to do now?"

Sasuke remained silent for a time, his head raising from his knees the only indication that he had heard Naruto at all. He took another sip from the sake, enjoying the burning sensation as it coursed down his throat. Itatchi was gone… but the pain was still here.

"Find someone, and restart my clan."

Naruto snickered, leaning over to steal to bottle from the other and take a swig. "Well, at least that's the easy part. You've got every woman in all of Konoha jumping at your feet in hopes to have your babies."

Sasuke remained silent, his face hidden in a single knee that he had propped up on the edge of the futon.

Naruto continued, taking another sip, "I can see it now, little black haired, red eyed Sasukes running everywhere, causing a muck, all chanting things like "I'll get my revenge!" and "Dobe!"" Naruto paused… "Actually… I think I'd rather not see that."

Sasuke actually snickered into his knee for a second, before reaching over to take to bottle from Naruto, "Dobe," and sipping it.

"See! One of you is bad enough! I dunno if I can handle a total army of that."

A small, nearly invisible smile hid behind the sake bottle as the raven listened to the blond rant. Stupid Dobe… ruining his bad mood.

"Any idea who the lucky girl is going to be?"

Lowering the bottle, the Uchiha sucked on his lips briefly, trying to taste some of the alcohol that still lingered there.

"No."

"No? Not even any… thoughts?"

"No."

"What about Sakura-chan?"

"Since when were you so fond of gossip, Dobe?"

Naruto huffed for a second, a slight tinge coming to his cheeks, before snatching the bottle from the other's hand.

"It's not gossip! I'm just making sure you're well looked after."

"I don't need you to be my keeper."

"I'm not your keeper, I'm you're best friend."

Sasuke glared at the blond, who just took another sip of the bottle and glared right back, before letting his face disappear back into his knee. "I don't want Sakura," came the almost inaudible reply.

Naruto paused, "Why not? The entire village thinks you'd both be great together. And everyone knows she'd be more than willing."

Sasuke didn't reply right away. Instead, he readjusted his position, leaning back against the arm of the futon, bringing both his feet up onto the cushions so he was facing the other boy, mirroring his position.

"Sakura… is a spoiled girl who's always had her life handed to her on a plate. She doesn't understand me enough to love me the way everyone thinks she does."

Naruto swirled the bottle in his hand, the little liquid inside it making just a light sound. He heard the undertone in the boys words, the feelings that weren't expressed, what he was really on his mind.

"You know, Teme…" Naruto voice had gone soft, his own knees being brought up to rest his head, "I envy you… you might have had everyone torn away from you, but at least you got to experience a family."

"You don't know the pain it causes to have them gone."

"You don't know the pain of never having one at all." He stopped the swirling, white knuckling the alcohol, "The warm hug of a mother, a secret cookie from an aunt, the praise of a father… even the bonding time from a brother. The most I've ever gotten was a few free bowls of Ramen."

Silence over took the two again, each disappearing into their own thoughts. These two boys know loneliness and pain like no one else could ever understand. One born of an entire clan, having them all ripped away from him by the person he admired most. The other, never even given a family, and being further tormented by those he was unknowingly protecting.

A gentle hand on his brought Naruto's head up from his knees, letting the bottle go from his fingers as Sasuke took it. Bringing the bottle to his lips, the raven finished off the rest of the sake, placing the empty bottle onto the floor; he'd deal with it later.

"Dobe…"

"Hmm?"

"Are you drunk?"

Naruto cocked his head at the other; this was quite out of character for the static boy. "No, alcohol doesn't affect me much at all." _Thanks to the kyuubi…_ "Why?"

Sasuke teethed his bottom lip; apparently _he _was feeling the sake a bit more. "Nothing… never mind."

"Come on, Sasuke. What is it?"

Releasing his bottom lip, onyx eyes met azure, then turned away, hiding once again in his knee.

Naruto watched the older boy as he seemed to debate with himself, mulling over some intense thought in his head, trying to come to a decision. He could hear light unrecognizable mumbles, something that the raven would never be caught doing in a sober state. Crawling across the futon, the blond laid a gentle hand on the other's shoulder, shaking him lightly.

"Sasuke… what's wrong?"

A single pale hand came up to grip the tan one on the white clad shoulder, squeezing it gently, almost… desperately.

"Sasuke? Wha—" and he was silenced, as a set of lips pressed against his. It was gentle, just lips touching lips, nothing more than an exchanging of heat, but even that slight touch had Naruto completely frozen in his spot. What… what was Sasuke doing? He couldn't honestly be that drunk…

The raven broke the kiss, pulling away slowly, head low. "Naruto…" His voice was harsh and broken, like he was forcing the words out. The hand on his tightened, pulling it off the shoulder, but still clutched the tanned fingers. "I just want to feel what it's like… to be with someone that's as lonely as I am…" his voice dropped to below a whisper, and even Naruto, whose head was still very close to his, had to strain to hear it, "… before I have to commit."

Naruto was shocked… _did… did he just…!? _

But Sasuke continued, "I'm not going to beg you… but I'm approaching Sakura tomorrow."

So… it was a decision that had to be made now. Yes or no. Damn it Sasuke… this was too big of a decision to be making spur of the moment! Would this change things between them? Would they just be able to go on like always? Would this strain their relationships with Sakura? Would this _only_ be a one time thing? It wasn't even a matter of two men having sex… it was about two people that completely understood each other sharing something that no one else could ever comprehend.

As Naruto stayed silent, Sasuke began to shake. He pulled away, his grip on the other's hand loosening, body slipping from the futon, preparing to leave. He was expecting this, so why did he feel so broken… so much… lonelier?

His escape didn't get far however, as Naruto's hand reattached to his, the blond's other hand reaching over to turn the raven's face, so their eyes once again met. Emotions like never before flew between them. Sasuke's entire soul was bared through his eyes, eyes that Naruto could read perfectly. Naruto watched as feelings he'd never seen from the older boy continued to pore from the black depths. Fear, trust, betrayal, love, loneliness, anxiety… every emotion from all edges of the spectrum.

Did Sasuke realize what he was asking? What could happen between them? Not just them, but Sakura as well? Did Sasuke realize what Naruto would be… giving up?

A second more of watching those onyx pools told Naruto that: Yes, Sasuke was well aware… but was willing to take the risks.

Lacing his fingers into the soft black strands, their lips met for the third time in their lives.

……Itatchi was dead… but the loss of a life couldn't bring back those that were already gone. Instead, those that morn the loneliness of being left behind come together, if only for one night, to share their pain with one another in hopes that they can find relief in the company.


	2. Chapter 2

All of Konoha was in celebration, like they were on this day every year. The morning saw joyment as the academy closed, the market place a bustle from villagers preparing for the days events. The afternoon brought the festival, stalls of games and food, streets of laughter and smiles. Night set off fireworks, signaling the end of another year of peace.

However… for one person, this was not a day of celebration and joy… but abuse and hatred…

Sasuke approached the defaced door, disgusted by the vandalism and damage done to the destroyed piece of wood. Scribbled paint reading 'Die', 'Go back to hell', and 'Demon' were some of the kinder ones. Broken egg shells, pieces of fruit, and even burn marks scarred the wood. As it has been every year.

He rapped gently on the broken door, "Naruto?"

Gentle foot steps could be heard inside the silent apartment. The door slowly opened, and a pale, baggy eyed, blond appeared. He looked horrible…

"Hi, Sasuke…" his voice was low and broken, "come on in."

The tiny apartment was dark and quiet, the illusion that no one was home. Glass covered the floor, a rock covered in red paint lying in the middle of the shards.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Sasuke's eyes kept trained on the hurting blond, and took a chair at the creaking kitchen table. Anyone else who saw the younger man at the moment wouldn't have noticed the slight slump in the shoulders, or the shaking of his hands, or even the dragging of his feet.

"How'd the mission go?" Naruto said, taking a seat across from the raven.

"We're all alive. The target's dead," Came the abrupt reply. "Has anyone come by to see you today?"

A slow nod, "Sakura brought Akio over this morning," a tiny smile broke through the blond's depression for a moment, "He's getting big… looks just like you."

A smile snuck up on Sasuke's lips, one of a proud father.

"He's ganna be quiet a catch when he gets to school."

"Mm… but he's a handful. I hate leaving him with Sakura in her condition."

A true smile graced the blond's lips, "It's almost time, huh. You want a boy or a girl?"

Sasuke shrugged, his fatherly smile still lingering, "It doesn't matter to me, but Sakura's hoping for a girl."

The whiskered man sipped his drink, leaning back in his chair, "She'll be beautiful."

Their conversation was interrupted, however, by a slashing on the locked door. They both turned to see a greenish-yellow substance leak from beneath the door, and the sudden insulting smell of vomit permeated through the room. The good mood was destroyed. Sasuke turned back to the blond to see him delve back into his sadness. He watched the other wince as the sound of a bucket slammed against the entrance to the apartment and clattered to the floor, a scream of "Hell Spawn!" following it before silence finally graced the room.

"Naruto…"

The blond didn't respond, completely lost in his own mind. Sasuke watched as he fought with himself, more than likely reliving the abuse that he had received that day. His grip tightening around his drink, his eyes glazed over and staring at nothing. Sasuke finally moved as he saw a tear escape from a dead blue eye.

Naruto was startled from his thoughts as gentle fingers broke his death grip on his drink, hands guiding his to wrap around the shoulders of the ANBU kneeling before him. It wasn't until the hands released his and wrapped around his own body that he allowed himself to hug his best friend. He clutched the grey and black uniform, face buried in the comforting neck.

Sasuke let his friend cling to him as he slowly ran his hand up and down the trembling back. Ignoring the slowly building moister on his shoulder, he tilted his head, laying his cheek on the mop of blond hair. He whispered encouraging noises into the younger man's yellow strands, waiting patiently for the sobs to subside.

As the room was brought into silence once again, Sasuke felt the other pull away, and let go reluctantly. He still kept his arms draped around the blond, as a constant invite for comfort.

"Naruto…" Glistening wet blue eyes met open onyx, a pale hand reached over to wipe away a trailing tear, "Do you want me to stay the night?"

Shining eyes suddenly froze, tears stilling, blues widening. "Sasuke…" He pulled back, turning away so the arms on his shoulders slipped away as he sunk into his chair, "We can't do that… what about Sakura? Akio?" his voice was weak, almost miserable, "Have you even been to see them yet?"

"You need me today more than they do."

"But they're your wife and kid."

"You're my best friend."

Naruto pushed his chair back away from the raven who was still kneeling before him. His tears had stopped, another emotion now dominating, "Go home Sasuke."

The ANBU sprang to his feet as he grabbed the arm of the retreating blond. "Dobe…"

As if a string snapped, Sasuke caught the fist that he found barreling at his face. Their was no speed behind the punch, no strength, no force; just a movement. Sasuke watched as the blond broke down again, eyes tightly shut, tears leaking out and falling to the floor from his down turned head.

They ended up on the floor again, Naruto's face buried in the grey uniform, fist lightly pounding on the hard chest.

"Why… you've got Sakura… why would you do this?"

"Because you need me more."

"You'd cheat on your wife for me? Dishonor your son's mother? …you're unborn child?"

"Even if they found out, their pain can't compare to yours."

"You'd willingly cause them pain?"

Sasuke buried his face into the blond hair; tears creeping threw his own eyes. "Please don't think of it like that."

Naruto's sobbing had subsided, his breathing slowed as he pushed away from the raven, eyes not moving from the floor. "Please leave, Sasuke."

Sasuke visibly sagged, rejected, "Don't make me leave you alone."

Naruto stood, back to the other, "I wont help you cheat on your wife." And left to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Sasuke kept to his spot on the floor. He listened to the gentle footsteps of the blond, and the heavy creak of a mattress. Then silence.

'' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' ''

Naruto's eyes opened to the gentle sound of his front door opening and closing. He'd been lying awake for hours in his bed, unable to escape this day into blissful sleep. He'd heard Sasuke leave minutes after he disappeared into his room, and he felt relieved by that. Enough people hated him; he didn't need this guilt playing at his heart as well.

Naruto gripped the kunai under his pillow as footsteps approached his bedroom door. His eyes were open, watching the reflection of the door in his window, his back to the intruder. The gentle light from his kitchen illuminating the silhouette that appeared in his door way as it eased open. The blond's fingers went limp around the blade and ache came back to his chest as he recognized the shadow.

Why did he come back…

The room was brought back into near darkness as the door shut. Naruto listened to the gentle padding of footsteps and felt the deep creak in his bed as Sasuke sat on it's edge. Tears sprang back into his eyes as he felt the raven move, an arm circling his waist, and the full length of a warm body pressed to his back.

"Sasuke…"

"Dobe…" He could feel the darker man's breath in his hair, sending a warm feeling throughout his body. "I'm not leaving again."

Naruto pulled away slightly, turning onto his back to face the raven. "I'm not doing this."

Their eyes connected, a gentle hand came up to wipe at the blond's tears. "Then don't. Let's just stay like this."

And Naruto understood. Turning again, Naruto buried his face in the softer civilian clothes, arms wrapping around the other's back. Sasuke covered as much of the sorrowful man as he could, hugging him tightly to his chest, and intertwining their legs securely.

He pressed a comforting kiss to the mop of hair, "Happy Birthday, Naruto."


End file.
